Daily Life

#200 : not good for special number

yeah i wish i had a great day to tell all of ya today, remembering this is the 200th post.. but i didn’t see any goodness today..

8 am – PKA practice..

10.30 – multimedia class.. boring T_T

1 am – suppose to have Web Mining class, but me and my friends decided to go Karaoke.. yeah, all of us has been stressed out with so much own problems…

this evening, i just realize that if someone didn’t reply ur sms, it is far much better than if they replied, but just as necessity, very short, and seems to ‘just answering’ you.. and i just wandering, is it a negative signal for me ? well honestly i can’t accept this kind of response, so i will re-consider my plan about that love story.. i’m not a pesimistic person.. but i should think realistically.. i know how to differentiate positive and negative signals.. and i usually move away when i receive negative ones, coz i don’t want to make other people disturbed by me if they has shown me that the don’t want me to disturb them.. it’s fair rite.. i won’t disturbed them and they won’t get more mad at me..

am i sad ? not really.. but somehow my friends said that is so complicated for me because it will be confusing for me to go forward or backward to response to that kind of signal.. but i think i prefer the backward one.. why ? because i need any affirmative signal to forward.. i don’t like to force myself into something me myself doesn’t really sure.. i don’t like mystery, unknownness, dark path in front of me.. and i even don’t want to guess what others feeling, especially implicit ones.. so i will directly look what they did to me no matter the reason was (if any) and i will take my own conclusion because sometimes nobody want to tell the real meaning of their behavior to me.. look for implicit meaning is so difficult for us as human being because human is unpredictable.. so i just take the easiest way.. if the response is negative, i will just think that she didn’t interested with my offer (to make any relationship).. that’s all.. sayonara..

i’m not an-easy-man-to-give-up, i just interpret any response and take my own action based on it.. just it.. nothing to do with cowardness or bravery.. wew.. beside, this problem has take a lot portion in my thoughts just now.. i don’t want to get more disturbed by something that is not responding..